Bachelor Padangustasana

Every cell in this body wanted to avoid writing about The Bachelor Pad tonight. Seriously. I have some serious topics to write about this week and then I received a text regarding The Bachelor Pad. And another. And another.

There are a lot of you drinking this foul smelling liquid, ah, but it feels so good. No, it’s not Whiskey, it’s the 3rd Season of The Bachelor Pad. If you don’t know The Bachelor Pad, well honestly, you are probably breathing beautiful oxygen into your brain cells. It is a house of debauchery and lies and deception – all for money and maybe a chance at love. There has been one married couple from the show, believe it or not, which ties the regular franchise record for marriages.

I’m going to make this brief and throw in a yoga pose so that it’s not two-days of wasted time for people. I’ll get back to my real deal stuff with tomorrow’s post.

Bachelor Pad Notes/Recap:

First off, it cracks me up that the ‘legacy’ contestants are so critical of the super fans. Wait, there is a hierarchy on F-list celebs? When did that happen? Weren’t you as equally unknown and watching previous seasons before you came onto this show? The only people who are “above” anyone in the fame world are people who actually did something for their fame. Sorry.

Onto my recap. I’m not going to rehash every person, just a few thoughts here.

Kreepy Kalon. I think he may have captured small animals as a child or something. Maybe this Lindzi romance thing will bring out some weird story about fatherly abandonment or something to describe the psychological purpose of his frankly bizarre and unsympathetic behavior. <Insert shudder here>.

Cray Cray Chris thinks he’s a pimp. But it’s just a veil for his insecurity issue that he still hasn’t addressed. Once he takes care of that, I think he could be attractive.

The Twins. They say they’ve been “watching season after season.” Uh, you’re 22. You’ve really been watching this show since Alex Michel? You were like 12! That explains a LOT.

Blakeley. Oh girl. Nothing has changed. Hon, you need to get yourself fixed up with a good therapist asap. Ain’t nothin a man gonna do to fix that. I think you mean well, but you are so fearful and so so unsure of yourself which just translates into crazy on this show, although, it creates the perfect environment for reality TV and possibly… love with a single dad?

Jaclyn I don’t know what to say about you except that when the hell did 34 become 82? That would make me 157. Pretty sure Blakeley could not mathematically be your grandmother.

Ed. Wow, Class act, bud! There are video cameras rolling. Video cameras. Every move you make (other than the pink blazer + white pant combo, which I loved) is grossing me out.

They partnered. They played some dumb hearts gravity game. They voted off two super fans. Reid had a dismal attempt at keeping superfan Paige because his name was Reid and hers Paige. Oh Reid. Homonym names does not a relationship make.

And the yoga pose of the week:

Utthita Hasta Padangustasana
(Extended hand-to-foot pose)

I chose this pose simply because it has the word “Pad” in there. Seriously. Yoga and Bachelor Pad have no other possible connection other than that!

Benefits:

Here’s how we do it (courtesy http://www.yogajournal.com):

Step by Step

From Tadasana, bring your left knee toward your belly.

Reach your left arm inside the thigh, cross it over the front ankle, and hold the outside of your left foot. If your hamstrings are tight, hold a strap looped around the left sole.

Firm the front thigh muscles of the standing leg, and press the outer thigh inward.

Inhale and extend the left leg forward. Straighten the knee as much as possible. If you’re steady, swing the leg out to the side. Breathe steadily; breathing takes concentration, but it helps you balance.

Hold for 30 seconds, then swing the leg back to center with an inhale, and lower the foot to the floor with an exhale. Repeat on the other side for the same length of time.