Open Your Heart and Your Closet


Monday night, I had my friend Megs come by and visit me. Her visit was very purposeful. I was hiring her as my stylist. But let’s rewind for a sec. My yoga teacher, Jams, told me I needed to read this book called, Getting to I Do, by Dr. Pat Allen.  The title is a bit misleading…. yes, the ultimate goal is marriage… but the book goes onto describe that there needs to be a female energy and a male energy (yin and yang) in every relationship in order to keep it harmonious and in balance. Either partner can be either, but one has to be female and the other male.

I took the quiz in the book and realized I was far and away a female energy. The problem? I was putting male energy out there, thus confusing everyone. And I mean everyone. Every boyfriend past, I was initially the male energy to start, then realized partway through, no wait, I’m the female energy. Unfortunately that just confused the dude(s). Er, ok. How do I remedy this? By being the female energy from the start.

Enter Megs.

Female energy doesn’t pursue, female energy as a woman quite literally means (for me): be more feminine. Guess what is in my closet? A thousand boxy, gray, white and black, clothes. (Ok, yes, I am from Seattle).

Grey Dress, Designed/Sewn by Me

I had two floral items. Perfect for date night, right? Oh no, Megs was not happy. Apparently I have a penchant for florals that are flowy; i.e. baggy, and thus hiding my figure.

As we went though one by one, I realized this was my pattern- I was hiding myself. And it became more clear when we went to get food afterward and she was sitting up and chatting, and I was slumped in my chair- I was hiding again, hiding my heart. Megs pointed this out to me – “stop hiding behind the flowy shirts, and get your heart out there.”

So, how does one open up their heart and heart chakra? Well good thing you checked this blog out today, because it’s Tuesday which means yoga pose day. But first, a little more about the 4th Chakra, Anahata, the Compassion or Heart Chakra. The heart Chakra is in the area of -you guessed it- your heart. It holds the principles of loving yourself, others, compassion, forgiveness, acceptance, peace, empathy and balance. Perfect for a)becoming more open and female and b)moving forward post-breakup.

There are many heart opening poses, but today I will focus on one: Ustrasana, Camel Pose.


Don’t try this if you have severe back issues. For the rest of us, here are the steps for Camel Pose:

1. Start kneeling, toes tucked under.

2. Knees hip distance apart, hands to lower back.

3. Press inner thighs back and root tailbone down.

4. Shrug shoulders up and back.

5. Inhale, lift side body.

6. Exhale, pull heads of shoulders back.

7. Inhale, life chest toward sky and bottom tips of shoulder blades lift the heart.

8. Stay here or lower hands to heels.

9. Stay here or flatten tops of feet.

10. Bring hands back to lower back.

11. Exhale, head comes up last.

Megs and I cleared out/cleaned up the closet. We’re going shopping for step two in my fem process. And I am going to work on opening up my heart again- welcome to the more feminine version of me.


2 thoughts on “Open Your Heart and Your Closet

  1. i agree with this. i am single, looking for a nice guy, but all of the guys at work have told me how I’m a ‘lad’ in the respect that i am too easy to get along with :/ i can’t quite see how i am going to change this but i also need to become more feminine and relax but i don’t know. i know that you can become more feminine and open your heart again 🙂
    keep smiling

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