Hello friends and readers. If any of you have ever had the chance to read my first post ever, you’ll know that what prompted me to start this blog was getting my right brain up and moving, and creativity juices flowin’. That “advice” (getting the creative part of me going) came from a psychic under the Santa Monica Pier, lol.
So, yeah, I get many of you think psychics are b.s. I also agree with you. However, I do think this particular psychic may be more…. intuitive(?)…. about things I know and think already about myself, and she just says them out loud. One topic was my need for creativity. Another piece of advice she gave me back in March 2012? Focus on me this year. “Self-satisfaction, self-improvement, self-involvement.” This is exactly what she said. And what I needed to hear. And what I knew I needed to do.
You see friends, I was a serial monogamist for many years. Like since I was twenty-two years old. I’m a regular Jennifer Love Hewitt. Here is my rap sheet:
(Boyfriend #1 was in college)
Boyfriend #2: Nov 1999-April 2003
Boyfriend #3: May 2003- April 2005
Boyfriend #4: May 2005-June 2007
Boyfriend #5: Nov 2007-July 2008
Boyfriend #6: Dec 2008-July 2010
Boyfriend* #7: Dec 2010-June 2011
Boyfriend* #8: Dec 2011-March 2012
* we were exclusive, but the relationships weren’t nearly as deep at the previous ones.
So, you see most of my twenties and early thirties were overrun by relationships. And prior to that- all I wanted was a boyfriend. Then, something happened this year, when I turned thirty-five.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t want a boyfriend.
I actually just wanted to embrace my gift of singledom, take advantage of this life before me, and live it each and every day. I realized that Doreena the psychic just called out what my innermost voice was telling me, “Just take an f^&*ing break.”
So that is what I am doing. I am focusing on me. And I have decided to take on you on the ride. Now, I started this “Self-satisfaction, self-improvement, self-involvement” quest back in March. I’ll catch you up on what improvements, involvements, satisfactions and realizations have occurred since then- and as they are happening. And I will call this series “Self-Realizations,” for the things I am learning about myself in this process. Reflections, epiphanies, whatever is furthering this venture. I’ll update you when the light bulb goes off on something new, and/or I’ll recount a story I’ve had over the past eight months.
So, without further delay, here is the first one.
Self Realization 1: The Right One
I had a friend of mine ask me if I ever wanted to get married. My answer used to be, “yes, of course.”
I realized that was not the truth. I mean, yes, marriage is something I would like. But the way I was being asked and answering that question was not reflective of what I truly felt. I thought about this one, and I realized what my REAL answer should be was:
I want to be with the right person.
I believe that if I’m with the right person, then anything that comes with that will be right, too. Simple, and totally mind-blowing at the same time, right? I can’t believe it took me so long to come up with that. Duh!!!
In the meantime- I’m going to play. May as well really appreciate this single time I have before the right one comes into my sphere.
That was my realization… if you’re with the right person, the rest will happen. And that’s my final answer.