Thursday night my fishes took me out for a little pre-bday din din at Sugarfish, Brentwood.
We all ordered the Trust Me (how very fitting for today’s topic), and while I would normally order the same as the Professor, Bella and Lolo- since my little cholesterol discovery, I opted to get the Toro and Salmon handroll instead of the double Blue Crab. It was hard. And I could visualize the yummy warm fresh crab taste, but I said no. The Professor even offered to give me a bite of hers, but I declined.
I think when you are determined and love something so much (yes, I love myself that much), you want to do the right thing no matter how tempting. I wish the same could be said for dudes. I guess chicks too. One of the crew recently (like 2 months ago) broke up with her ex-dude she discovered was cheating on her… all because he was afraid of having the greatest love of his life (this was confirmed by Doreena the psychic, fyi). He was afraid! And needed a way out– fast.
I thought about this topic initially when I met up with a friend-couple of mine a few hours before dinner. I am attending their wedding in a few weeks. They mentioned that one of my exes would be at their wedding with his wife #2. This particular ex was one of two exes to cheat on me in the past… to this day, neither ever admitted it to me (but my gut initially told me, and I was able to confirm through very reliable sources). Both of them, and my friend’s guy, all said the same thing: “you are the one that is crazy.”
That made me think of an article I recently read about red flags of a cheater… that if your gut is telling you something is off, you ask your guy about it, and he responds with, “you’re crazy” then your gut is probably right.
Fortunately, my last few dudes have been loyal (that I know of). I’m not upset with my exes for cheating. I am realizing that guys who cheat usually are panicked/scared/freaked out/not ready for this and don’t know how to verbalize it, so they take action. Misguided, hurtful and dumba$$ action- and some, while aware they are doing it, don’t realize why they are. It’s a retardation of maturity, really. A strong, confident man would just say, “this isn’t working for me, love. I care about you and want the best for you.” And respectfully break up and move on. The cheater just ain’t mature enough or capable.
All I know is that for me to be happy, I need a strong, confident individual. I think the same is true for my friend. I know they exist because I’ve seen them. Unless the poor chaps realize what the root cause of their fear is- they will live up to the motto, ‘once a cheater always a cheater.’ And maybe end up with high cholesterol too.