I Just Crush – A Lot.

The other day I posted a Facebook status listing off a new addition to my crush list. I named most of my crushes in said list, but not all of them. Now’s my chance to tell you about them all. Perhaps you agree? Perhaps you disagree? Perhaps you will learn of a new amazing dude out there? Do you have your own crush list? Is your sig other cool with it?

Anyway, there were several people quite curious about this list… so here it is. My famous crushes and why I crush/ed on them.

11. Aquaman – The Superhero (the 80’s cartoon version)

In the 80’s, Aquaman was pretty hot to me. I am thinking now, in retrospect, that it is highly likely he is/was into dudes and not the ladies. But no matter. It was 1982, I was oh, a ripe five years old. And I had my first love dream. It was with a blond, strapping Aquaman. We were underwater. And I’ll never forget that cartoon kiss. It was so…. A-Ha.

10. Kirk Cameron – The Spiritual One

So, I actually loved Mike Seaver when he was getting into trouble and his voice was cracking. I know he’s touring the church circuit now, which is great for him… but my crush started long before he was married and promoting the bible. I used to kiss Kirk’s picture before I went to sleep each night, and sent him a Hershey bar because I read in Tiny Bop Magazine he had never tried chocolate before. I grew out of that phase pretty quickly.

9. Elves- The Athletes

Not the tiny tots that make toys.

I admit, I am a Lord of the Rings fan. This may make me nerd. I accept that. I loved all the books, I loved the movies (that is rare for me to like both) I even loved- wait for it- the Xbox video games. Seriously. Loved. It. All.

Ok, so really there’s just one Elf- Legolas. I’d take this archery master any day over Lochte and Phelpster. Orlando Bloom with that flowing blond hair and agility of a gazelle… the perpetual Elven bachelor spoke with the most amazing poetic diction. The majesty, the grace, the fluidity… he’s so androgynous, and yet so masculine at the same time? I just feel like he’d give a nice massage, that Legolas. You had me at Mára aurë, you had me at Mára aurë.

8. Chris Hansen– The Sugar Daddy

When you gots mo’ money (and not mo’ problems), and you have a hankering for some real Sonics (not that fake Oklahoma-swindling BS) basketball… well, then you’ll find yourself, one ruggedly handsome venture capitalist, Chris Hansen. I like him because, well, he’s about to bring back the only (male major sports) team in Seattle history to win a championship. He’s also kinda quirky cute and right in my age range. Oh, yeah, and did I mention, he’s BUYING THE FUTURE SONICS. With CASH MONEY. Impressive.

7. Mike Hererra – The Rock Star

The year- 1995. I was an intern at The End 107.7 Radio Station in Seattle… during the best years of the grunge/punk Seattle scene. The End was the alternative music station and as an intern, I was allowed to attend the annual End Fest concert- with backstage pass, of course. I met all sorts of cool cats, but the coolest cat was the bassist and lead singer for a punk band called MxPx.

I think Mike thought I was more amusing than attractive- I mean, who wouldn’t want to hit on a 110lb girl with XXL Dickie jeans, green suede vans, and a hemp choker. I was little misbehavin’ at our after show party and was convinced I had offended one Mr. Herrera. So I went the Kirk Cameron route. I wrote him a letter. I apologized and thanked him for an amazing concert. Then something happened… he wrote back. Unfortunately, his postcard had arrived after I had moved to college and by the time I had received it, he was on tour. I called the number he put on there and his Mom told me he wouldn’t be back for months (this was pre-cell phones, people). Months!!!

So I found out his tour schedule and discovered there would be a show in Seattle. I brought my bff, Dukes, and we went to the show. By that time I had gotten the infamous ‘college cut’ – taking my long high school locks into a chin-length bob. Dukes and I arrived at the show and I was able to say ‘hi’- unfortunately, I don’t think he liked my hair because he ended up changing the lyrics to one of his songs about a short-haired girl. As Dukes was my witness, that was the day I knew I would never be able to go on a date with my crush again. Damn haircut!! I still think he’s hot.

6. Jason Bentley- The Musical Mastermind

Oh my heart. It’s pitter-pattering. Or maybe it’s just the sick beats JBents is discovering, picking and playing on Morning Becomes Eclectic. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s hot and has a fab voice. If I ever need new music ideas, JB is my man. Jason is an icon in L.A. People who don’t know him are crazy… you must know him. And Love him. Ok, I’ll stop there.

5. Channing Tatum – The Dancer

I’ll never get sick of this. However, I’m not a male stripper fan. At all. Pretty gross. But when you are a good dancer? Uh hello, that kinda changes everything. Being a good dancer is a GIFT, people. A straight up Gift from God. Although, I prefer if Channing just didn’t speak. Shhhh… quiet, hot one. Just dance and never, ever speak.

4. Jon Stewart- The Comedian

Who doesn’t love a guy who makes you laugh? It is the way to my heart. Jon Stewart is my kind of humor… witty, smart, and f’in hilarious. You may not always agree with him, but he certainly has you in stitches. I don’t even know if he writes all of his jokes… but my personal opinion is that delivery is 85% of the battle. And he has it. I think it just makes him even cuter, don’t you? That, and the salt and pepper hair. I dig it.

3. Mohawk Guy- The Brains

Mohawk Guy, the second I saw you, I knew you were super hot. It’s no coincidence that I attended the JPL open house in 2008. Oh, none at all. I even bought a sweatshirt. And saw your NASA room. And is it any coincidence that my fellow yogini, Brittany, once worked with you and knows you? I think not. Oh and – we went to the same University – at the same time??!! Say what? No matter that you were one of like 34,000 students. We were there at the same time. Ah, perhaps one day our paths will cross in LALA Land.  You brought sexy back to science- where it belongs. And I salute you for that.

2. Ryan Gosling  – The Crush Realized

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I had been on a date with the incredibly handsome and humble, Ryan Gosling. It’s kind of a long story, but it was a fantastic experience and one I’ll tell my grandkids. Bottomline on this one- he’s the real deal. Super ridiculously hot, sweet, charming and a doll. I still have a crush on him even though obvs he’s in love with another brunette. You know where to find me, RG, if you ever want more of where this came from.

1. Joseph Gordon Levitt (aka JGL) – The All Around Yummerness

I thought this kid was kinda dorky, at first. Like, NOT attractive. Then something happened… it was called 500 Days of Summer and I became HOOKED. Like Seaweed hooked. This dude is talented, artistic, complex, adorable, hot, evil, saintly, troubled, responsible, articulate, and darling all in one. I can’t get enough of JGL and admire the heck out of him. And maybe just want to make out with him. Just once.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥