Well, perhaps I should rephrase that.
My weekend is full of weddings.
First stop, Brooklyn, NY, where I will witness my dear friend, Dukes’, wedding. I’ve been to Brooklyn once before… In fact, it was right before I started this blog. Dukes is artistic, creative, and super smart- but she doesn’t flaunt all those amazing things, she lets you unwrap them like a package. That makes her even cooler. Her wedding is up first. That is Saturday. I’m leaving on a red-eye in a few hours to attend the fete.
Second stop, L.A. The second couple I’ve known for about a year, they are famous within our yogi circle here in the South Bay, and are the ultimate yogi-couple. Two amazing, beautiful souls who have had great impact on my life- and no doubt others. That is Sunday.
Both daytime weddings. Both sets of super coolio peeps.
I only have two weddings to attend this year, and they are both on the same weekend, opposite coasts.
One could say I’m just being efficient, and getting them both done in one shot. But I think most would say, I am crazy, and should flake. Mainly because of the logistics.
However, if you are single, and in your thirties, attending weddings is a mixed bag in general. Yes, it is. I’m going to say that out loud.
You are supposed to be unselfish, and think of the couple and how happy they are, and how wonderful it is for them. And I will say, yes, of course, that is true- because it is. One hundered percent. These people are fixtures in my life, and I want all the happiness in the world for them. All of them. It is so wonderful to see, and beautiful to witness. No doubt.
But the dark side… is, as a single person who is thirty-six years old, another tiny hopeful cell expires inside every time you go to another wedding. It’s almost like I can feel another egg shrivel up and die in my ovary. It’s just one more opportunity to see everyone else have a chance at love that you don’t. And you start to think, you may never. You begin to feel super single in that moment and wonder if it will ever happen at all?
I know, my brain gets carried away. But seriously, I never used to think about that at all. I’d just attend the wedding, enjoy the moment, and know I would get mine in due time. And each year that passes, and my due time doesn’t come, the thought is bigger. Will this damn thing ever happen to me?
I get that people don’t like to hear that. It’s so selfish and unbecoming. The focus isn’t on you, you single person, the focus is the bride, the groom and the lovely party in which we are about to partake.
And so it is. And like always, I will go and enjoy that celebration, as I have done, so many times before, I will. Because these are my people and they are important to me, and I’ve partied with them before and we always have fun together. They are my friends.
And ultimately? It’s also one more person like me that maybe used to have that thought, will it be me? And, yes, it is their turn. It is now their due time. And well deserved it is. I care about them and their happiness; they get to have it too.
Cheers to my newlywed friends- I love you and am so happy you found your match… and I promise to be a good little guest :).