The Kiss

The Kiss Gustav Klimt

Happy Valentine’s Day!

There is a lot that is amazing about love. Being in love. Or having a crush. All those stomach-flipping heart-beating-faster experiences are a fun, scary, exciting feeling. There’s a whole world of emotional intimacy; and another world of physical intimacy (even a trilogy in print of the latter).

I love it all. Getting close mentally and getting creative physically. I think it’s all part of the love you have for a significant other. However, my most favorite thing of all crosses both areas: the kiss.


I’m not going to get into any statistics here, but I will say I am thirty-five and single. My first kiss was very late in life. I was so nervous about that moment… I was very concerned that I would live to be a hundred and never have a first kiss.

I still have diaries going back to sixth grade, and every year on my birthday I would write, “all I want for my birthday is my first kiss.” I wrote this every year until I was seventeen years old. Seventeen in the time of The Sound of Music era ain’t bad for a first kiss. But I grew up in the 90’s. Salt N Peppa were talking about sex back then. So to not have a first kiss by seventeen was nerve-wracking. And the buildup to that point stressed me out.

But once it happened… once I realized how simple it really was (and simply put, for me, is all about the chemistry), I began to view kissing differently.

I would like to say I’ve had plenty of practice and while technique could be employed… it really comes down to the other person. Who they are. How I feel about them. Is it a rush? Is it a deep love? This will dictate the kiss.

I’m not leaving out the actual particulars here… lip size, noses, saliva content, tongue placement can contribute to the overall experience… it’s like golf. Ten thousand things that could go wrong. Ten thousand things to think about. But like golf, if you loosen up your grip, stop over-thinking and just flow as physics and nature intended… you can hit that ball on the sweet spot and it feels pretty darn good.

I see kissing as another language. Your lips aren’t uttering words, but they are expressing meaning. I want you now. I love you. I appreciate you. I’m getting a thrill from this. I feel something electric from you. I feel something tender from you. You mean something to me. You mean nothing to me. There’s a million different messages you can communicate to another person all through your lips- without uttering a word.

I think that’s why I love it. Because when you both have the same message… it just works. And there’s nothing like it. Breath doesn’t matter. Hair doesn’t matter. Things don’t matter. All that matters- whether it is a gentle peck on the forehead, or a passionate exploration- is the kiss.


So, Happy Valentine’s Day. Kiss your sweetheart and be in the moment. Be in the kiss. Send that person a message and ‘listen’ for the message they are giving to you. It’ll change your whole way of experiencing the kiss. And don’t forget… enjoy it!

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