You know I write about the goings-on of my life. Whether it be in the areas of Life, Love or Yoga.
Today’s post is all about communication. And a lesson in me and my style.
I wrote the other day about being called out in front of my peers at a work event last week. Not super fun. And I think part of the reason for my frustration was that I wasn’t understanding completely how the feedback was directly related to my performance. I could not make that connection.
And that is why I am a huge fan of blunt, straightforward honesty.
I know most people don’t operate this way. I set up a guy friend of mine with a girl friend of mine once- they went out on five dates, enjoyed each other’s company … then nothing. Nada. He just stopped communicating. She was asking me what was going on, and I didn’t know, so I asked him and he didn’t know. Then finally, I called a spade a spade. “You haven’t called her in a week, J,” I said to the guy.
He gave me a bunch of excuses, then blamed me for not being sensitive to his current plight. The truth of the matter? He had rekindled a romance with his now-wife and was too ball-less to tell my friend he was starting something with someone else. Why? Probably because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings and didn’t have the courage to rip off the band-aid.
So I called him out on it. And I lost my friendship with him over it. Some people can’t handle the truth. Even though they created that truth.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I dig the band-aid being ripped off quickly. And when someone doesn’t have the balls to do it- I call them to the carpet.
I will also do the opposite, I will rip off the band-aid off if I feel like that is what my gut is saying or it is in the best interest for all. But I have really found over the years, it’s just easier to be truthful, put it out there, and move on. Seriously, it is.
I had to do that again. Have the Band-Aid Rip Convo. I needed the guy to rip the band-aid and he wasn’t doing it, so I had to get it going. He finally did, and I’m glad he did. I’m sure he is too. There’s nothing worse than playing along when you aren’t really wanting to be in the play anymore.
Typically if I am the Band-Aid ripper or the Band-Aid Ripping Persuader, I communicate it pretty clearly. Most dudes are very responsive to this, I think it’s because I’m keeping the emotions out of it, sticking to the facts, and just asking them to be straight with me. I get my answer, they feel better about it, we all move on in a happy, mature, productive and friendly way.
If you are a single girl/guy and you aren’t feeling it… just tell them straight out. Seriously. It is way more respectful. People will probably be initially a little hurt/surprised if they are caught off guard, but for the most part, most people are appreciative. You’ve explained, given closure, and moved forward with that person. Keep it simple, cut to the chase- no long-term damage. Capisce!?
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