Feminism or Feminine or Both

Feminism. Not the knock/em down, we’re going to rule the world kind, but the gentle feminine kind.

I like Southern Belles because I think they are the ideal of a strong woman. I don’t think they are as visible in the world- I don’t know that they always take on powerful leadership roles in society or in business… but I like how they operate.

I was thinking about this yesterday as I was in LAX waiting at the ticketing counter. As I approached the counter, a family of three stood before me. They appeared to be father, mother and 12 or 13 year old boy.

As they approached the desk with their four or five large heavy bags, I noticed that it was the mother, not the father or the son, lugging up all the bags. She also spoke with the check-in desk. As she (yes, she) loaded up each bag one at a time onto the scale, I noticed the masculinity in her appearance.

I don’t judge on looks and I try not to judge on character, but she was CLEARLY the leader of this pack. The dad and the kid were just side gigs.

As I boarded the plane, I discovered that father and son were sitting together and I would be her seatmate in first class. Everything about her screamed masculine… from her voice to demeanor to the way she grabbed the warm towel and tossed it aside.

I was trying to figure out if this was a marriage of convenience- because I certainly didn’t feel the love.

I bring this all up because I think of myself as independent. And she seemed very independent. But I don’t feel like I’m anything like her.

All the very masculine women I know are the ‘guys’ in their lesbian relationships, or at least seem to still be the wife in their marriages with their spouses. And what I mean by that is that the women I know either take a leadership role in a lesbian relationship, or have their husbands take the leadership role in a hetero one. This woman was neither.

Now, I want to be bad a$$ career person and a do-it-yourselfer… but watching her me made me want to rethink how I appear in my independence.

Enter the Southern Belle. Most gals in the South are more feminine it’s in the culture. But what I love about them- is their fire. They retain the little things- those girly touches of manicured toes and cute pleasant smiles… and just so happen to be tough as nails and will stick up for the best of them- including themselves. They’ll take care of themselves if they need to and their friends and family… all the while, allowing her hubs to take charge or training her son to be a gentleman in society.

I know some guys have a hard time understanding that a ‘strong’ girl still wants to be a girl. We like it when you take us out to dinner, and open the door. Even though we too make the money and can load the luggage ourselves. That is what I want… to be the girl. I don’t think it is taking my cake and eating it too… I think it is basic etiquette. And I think it is possible to be hard and soft – at the same time. Be strong, and still be feminine… and I like it like that.

If you don’t feel up to the task, guys… then you probably aren’t strong enough a guy for me. And if you think you want to skate by on this etiquette, then find a chick like the one I saw at the airport. She seemed like she would be more than happy to carry your luggage for you.